I come across what I call the inner “Drill Sergeant” a lot in my work with people. Often when this idea or concept comes up people readily identify with the inner “Drill sergeant, although they haven’t named it yet. If you aren’t familiar with the inner “Drill Sergeant” well it goes by other names too: gremlin, inner critic, saboteur, negative self talk. Most often this inner “Drill sergeant” is a negative inner voice that prevents us from being as successful and satisfied as we want to be in life. This voice is sometimes the voice of fear, doubt, procrastination, a symbol of eroded self-esteem, what ever it is or stems from it represents some form of negative self-talk.

This inner Drill sergeant is a constant companion and it is a highly critical voice. Yet we don’t question what the drill sergeant or even label it as negative self-talk. Once people recognize their inner drill sergeant and start recognizing the ways that it holds them back, they immediately want to rid themselves of the drill sergeant/inner critic completely. The tough thing is, it takes time to get tame that inner voice so when people aren’t able to excise it immediately, it causes even more frustration and hindrance to goals. So how do we tame the drill sergeant and why is that voice so powerful and convincing? Usually our drill sergeants got started a long time ago and at some point served a positive purpose, they kept us safe in some way or actually helped us to achieve a goal. Unfortunately overtime the drill sergeant became less helpful or even “maladaptive” and causes problems. However because the drill sergeant has been with us for such a long time it knows us pretty well and will resist our attempts to get rid of it. Getting rid of it is not usually an option as Carl Jung said, “What we resist persists.” So where does that leave us? Doomed to live with a negative inner critic that stymies our goals, prevents our happiness and success in life… No, in order to overcome our inner drill sergeants we have befriend them. When we learn to work with or befriend our inner drill sergeant we can transform it into an ally that helps rather than hinders us. How to do that involves not shutting out our drill sergeant, rather changing our relationship with it, knowing when and what to pay attention to, and ultimately not letting the drill sergeant have all the power, actually sharing that power in a respectful manner.

Check back for more on the inner drill sergeant and how to transform it from a negative into a positive.